Hello everyone, thank you for reading my blog post, I haven’t written one in a while because, well very often, my anxiety tells me no one would actually want to spend time reading it, but there is a topic I am dying to discuss with you all. I proudly say that I am becoming one of those influencers/bloggers that shares the reality of life. When I first set up my instagram, I was like ok got to be super cool, talk in a really posh accent and be like (Please read in Patsy’s voice from AbFab) “good morning darlings, just having a cappuccino before my morning yoga session, wow what a day to be alive”. But very quickly I began to realise being that way, is: 1. damaging to others, 2. Mega boring, and 3. damaging to my own identity… why should I be so afraid of being my complete honest self? So I scrapped the whole idea of being a mirage of fabulousness, and started just being my weird (yes I’m weird and that’s ok… some may say funny but that is personal opinion) highly sensitive, and average working class girl. Not going to lie, it’s tough, every time i post a video, I often think FUCK someone is going to send me a hate message, but so far, i’ve only received one message and that was a rude girl correcting every single grammar mistake I made in my stories for the whole day, I also get a sense of vulnerability and weakness and believe everyone is going to think what a wet weekend she is but thankfully, that hasn’t happened yet either, so I really do believe I am building a community which I like to call a safe place on the internet for me to share my whole self and for you to be inspired to share your individuality with the world too.

This has helped my mental health A LOT! So thank you all for accepting me for me! It really makes me a better and stronger person.

So now onto the topic I wanted to discuss: Highly sensitive person. I am what you class as a highly sensitive person. I find things very overwhelming and often have extremely high empathy levels, which actually can cause me to withdraw from certain situations, because the intensity of dealing with my own emotions and then coping with empathy will make me crumble (situations that make me feel extremely helpless because there is absolutely nothing I can do).

I never understood who I was growing up. I couldn’t understand why I felt things so passionately about nearly everything, even the little ants on the ground… like I will quite happily sit and watch them crawl among themselves on the pavement and be amazed at how quick their tiny legs would move. I am someone who would go to an art gallery and get lost in the paintings; the colours, delve deep into the narrative behind the picture, the brush strokes, or the pencil lines.  I couldn’t understand why music was so intense to me, why I would become euphoric listening to a song that resonated within my soul, and set my heart on fire.  I couldn’t understand why I found a scratching label on my clothes so irritating it would make me nauseas. I couldn’t understand why whenever I saw a sad bear sitting on his own in the window shop, I felt pained by his solidarity, although he was just an emotionless object in reality, I empathetically believed, he felt lonely.  I also found it really odd why I was so sensitive to temperature, if I get the slightest bit cold, I will shiver uncontrollably, but if I get a little warm, I become delirious.

After a morning of crying because a boy was nasty to me whilst I was doing my A levels, I arrived at my Psychology lesson, and my psychology teacher, who was obviously very observant noticed I wasn’t happy. He took me into his office, and I told him that I was annoyed at myself for being so upset over something so stupid, and I told him all about how I just seemed to feel everything so extremely that it was all becoming so exhausting and I hated how I was like this. He was the first person to ever tell me, that it was perfectly OK to be a highly sensitive person, and introduced me to a new perspective of it. He told me that I would commonly suffer from anxiety because everything is extremely overwhelming in my head, but this also means I get to experience the full potential of being a human: feeling.  He made me realise that it was ok to stop and stare at the pigeon that was all alone in Liverpool Street station with its feathers all ruffled standing idly, just because I was concerned he was sick (I took a picture and sent it to my mum, she confirmed, he was cold and didn’t like the wind). He made me realise that it was perfectly ok for me to feel a deep sense of amazement when I would see a beautiful sunset or a beautiful big moon (I’m not talking about WOW look at the moon, I mean like WOW I am in love with the moon, I have deep affections towards how beautiful the moon is, be mesmerised by its shape, depth, and form, almost as if we are friends… this kind of weird connection!).  He also told me, it was perfectly OK and healthy to cry about whatever I felt like I wanted to cry about.  This came as a shock to me, because throughout my whole life, peers, teachers, and society had scolded me for crying.

I understand why, as an extremely empathetic person, I hate seeing others cry, it is distressing and sometimes awkward. But the problem with this idea that we shouldn’t cry, is I believe it really affects the way we view emotions within society. Very much recently the mental health stigma is beginning to shift, and we are beginning to be more open minded about it and less afraid of expressing our true feelings – which is amazing and I AM HERE FOR IT!! However, one thing that I often still hear people say to one another and myself is “don’t cry”.

Very often I find crying is my way of expressing myself, allowing all this built up intensity within me to be released. I often feel fresher, better and brighter after a cry. I did some research into why this was, and it is because crying is a natural source of stress relief. It is self soothing, releases Oxytocin and endorphins, which will make you feel better, it also reduces pain and promotes a sense of well being. I believe by not allowing us to cry it still conforms to the mental health stigma, and that showing and expressing emotions is a big fat DON’T.  So I do not want to shun anyone on here or make anyone feel guilty, because we have inherently been brought up in a society that tells us, crying is a weakness and crying is socially unacceptable, and  I have also often said the words “don’t cry”. Instead I really want to educate others on other ways to deal when someone is crying and what to say:

“It is ok to cry, it will help you feel better, and then you will be able to feel calmer”

“Please feel free express you, it is the healthy thing to do” (you could sing this as if you are in a musical if you want to lighten the mood… so kidding)

“Crying is perfectly natural, don’t worry!”

“Let it out, this will help you”

“Thank you for crying in front of me”

Now I will draw a line here, and say that I am talking about normal crying – emotional response crying to fear, sadness, frustration, and hell even laughter (funny tears are the best, I was once told to  stop crying because I laughed so much by an ex boyfriend p.s. i dumped him hehe, and so yes, please also respect happy tears too!!!).

What I am not talking about is anxiety attacks or, extreme intense emotional crying where someone is acting erratic. These scenarios are very individual and can be extremely difficult to deal with, I myself am no expert and dealing in these situations, however the best policy is to remain calm and level headed, offer support, try to get them to sit with you and talk calmly and rationally about their current feelings, however if this is too overwhelming, I would suggest for you to seek help from someone else.  I am also not talking about constantly crying all the time, feeling very tearful for a long period of time along with a sense of prolonged sadness or crying about nothing in particular. I use to do student nursing as a few of you know, but every time I would go home, I would cry, because I found the whole experience overwhelming; either extreme happiness that I was able to care for someone that day, or extreme sadness that I wasn’t able to care to my full potential due to one reason or another. This all became very exhausting, my anxiety went through the roof, and I then became depressed. This was when crying was not ok, and I realised this and I then decided to seek the help I needed from my doctor and decided Nursing, although I was very emotionally intelligent, was not my career.

I hope this all helps you to get to know me better as a person, but also helps you understand that we are emotionally receptive animals that have the mechanism to cry to actually help us cope with life. You may not be a crier yourself, however please respect that others are, and that telling them not to cry can make the person crying feel guilty for their tears, embarrassed about their own emotions and identity, and ashamed of their sadness (or laughter).

Now I hope you all have a fabulous weekend, and enjoy yourselves and if you want to cry you can come cry to me and we can cry together if you want!

 

Hello! Me again with another autumn wish list. I asked those of you on Instagram what brand you would prefer between h&m and New Look and you chose h&m, which is perfect because I spend the majority of my life in there. I have changed the lay out and the style of post from my last ASOS wish list; this time I am showing you how I’d style the outfits using h&m items. I am a huge fan of neutral and warm tones this season, which is quite paramount throughout each outfit collage. I am also enjoying the classic, chic look at the moment however, I do like to experiment with this by combining feminine skirts or dresses with a pair of trainers, or a baggy jumper over the top to add a more casual style. I am also partial to experimenting with wearing t-shirts with mom jeans whilst sporting a pair of pointed court shoes or a pointed sock boot, and maybe a faux fur coat or an aviator jacket to combine a trendy but relaxed style with chic and class. I have added a few faux fur and corduroy pieces in here as I am also in love with these two fabrics for this season as well. I was going to add a trainer into a few of these outfits however, i couldn’t really find any on H&M that i truly liked. So that being said, I would probably wear my Fila Disruptor’s with the beige and white striped jumper, and the tartan skirt… maybe the yellow dress if i was feeling brave!

I am hoping to do one last wishlist next week to finish off my September 2018 wishlist collection on here, and then maybe I will get brave, and start actually putting my own outfits together of my own stuff, and talk about it! I can’t promise anything yet! Have a good week!

 

Thank you for taking your time to look at this post! I have decided not to write too much as it is more about a range of styles and items i am liking rather than getting in the nitty gritty and discussing the currrent trends. Please find all items linked below. All photos are  owned and copyrighted by ASOS.

 

The links to the items featured:

Yellow top:

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-long-sleeve-top-with-tie-front-detail-in-ditsy-floral-print/prd/10032194?CTARef=Saved%20Items%20Title

White top:

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-batwing-blouse-with-asymmetric-button-detail/prd/10344731?CTAref=We%20Recommend%20Carousel_10&featureref1=we%20recommend%20pers

Green button top:

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-drape-cowl-top-with-side-button-detail/prd/10438257?clr=khaki&SearchQuery=green%20button%20top&gridcolumn=1&gridrow=1&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=23

Blue cami vest:

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-wrap-cami-in-jacquard-with-lace-detail/prd/9563917?CTARef=Saved%20Items%20Title

Black mom jeans: 

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-farleigh-high-waist-slim-mom-jeans-in-washed-black/prd/9282493?CTAref=We%20Recommend%20Carousel_4&featureref1=we%20recommend%20pers

Check trousers:

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-tailored-heritage-check-slim-trousers/prd/10196424?CTAref=We%20Recommend%20Carousel_11&featureref1=we%20recommend%20pers

Wide leg check trousers: 

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-d-ring-high-waisted-check-wide-leg-trousers/prd/10196442?CTARef=Saved%20Items%20Image

Orange tailored trousers: 

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-tailored-high-waisted-tapered-trousers-with-button-detail/prd/10023729?CTARef=Saved%20Items%20Image

Pastel green cardigan:

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-eco-chunky-cardigan-in-soft-yarn/prd/9070317?CTARef=Saved%20Items%20Title

One Button Cardigan:

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-cardigan-in-fine-knit-with-one-button/prd/7667437?CTARef=Saved%20Items%20Title

Apricot Jumper:

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-jumper-in-fluffly-with-lace-stitch/prd/9477956?CTARef=Saved%20Items%20Image

Rust orange jumper:

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-fluffy-jumper-in-rib-with-roll-neck/prd/9407387?CTARef=Saved%20Items%20Image

Beige coat: 

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-crepe-pocket-detail-coat/prd/8859810?CTARef=Bag%20Item%20Image

Fur coat: 

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-stand-collar-faux-fur-coat/prd/9441102?CTARef=Saved%20Items%20Image

puffer coat:

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-puffer-jacket-in-floral-jacquard/prd/8431285?CTAref=We%20Recommend%20Carousel_11&featureref1=we%20recommend%20pers

Light green cord coat: 

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-cord-borg-hooded-parka/prd/9183908?clr=mint&SearchQuery=green%20cord%20coat&gridcolumn=2&gridrow=1&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=4

Snake skin pattern loafers:

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-munch-loafer-flat-shoes-in-snake/prd/9872142?CTAref=We%20Recommend%20Carousel_1&featureref1=we%20recommend%20pers

Tan brown boots:

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-elexis-leather-ankle-sock-boots/prd/10044224?CTARef=Saved%20Items%20Image

Snake skin heeled shoes: 

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-starling-pointed-heels-in-snake/prd/9775994?clr=snake&SearchQuery=snake%20skin%20shoes&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=2&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=48

Black sock boots: 

http://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-wide-fit-elexis-leather-ankle-sock-boots/prd/9778296?CTARef=Saved%20Items%20Image

 

 

Hello All,
Thanks for coming back to read this! So it has taken me a little while to get into this blog, because well, I still have no idea what I am doing. However, one thing I did want to do on this, was share with you my love for TV and Music! So every month, I am going to try and share with you my top 5 series/films and also my top 5 songs or artists of the month. P.s. I studied Media 5 years ago, I am in no position to use professional language, or even think I know what I am talking about, I am just here to share my fave films and series ;).

1. Good Girls – 2018 – Netflix
Now let’s be honest, nothing is better than watching a binge worthy series to occupy your time, am I right? I watch lots of TV with my Mum, and we both were hooked after one episode of Good Girls. We are 4 episodes in and thoroughly enjoying it. It’s giving us a bit of a Desperate Housewives vibe with the humour and the characters.
The reason why I am enjoying it, is because the characters are like-able, and relate-able. Its jam packed with drama at every turn, and I enjoy the suspense and sticky situations these ladies keep getting themselves into. The chemistry between each character is excellent and I truly want the best for them! I was saying to my mum whilst watching the first episode, how captivating TV can become; in the first episode the ladies plan on robbing Annie’s workplace – the supermarket, and in that moment, I wanted nothing more than them to escape with all that money and run! When actually, if I had read about this in the paper, or seen it in real life (or on the TV – I don’t get out much), I’d of been so angry! very much like books, we seem to become in-grossed with storylines, that are potentially morally or lawfully wrong, but seem to become personally involved within that storyline, and whilst watching/reading we seem to reason with the situation the characters are in, and accept their wrong doings, simply because we are almost “involved”. I remember rightly, my media teacher telling me this is called “escapism”, and I now completely understand! Because although we would not (I do not speak for everyone lol) pursue these storylines in real life, we enjoy the satisfaction of being “bad” and not conforming to the norm. Maybe there is an element of psychology in this! Anyway in a nutshell – It’s a fabulous drama with lots of wit, charm, and action!

2. Friday Night Dinner – 2011 – present – Netflix + All4
HAHA, im already laughing at the thought of this series! I had watched season 1 when it first come out, but didn’t keep up with it, but recently Jack and I have been watching it because he hadn’t seen it before, and all I can say is SHIT ON IT… ahaha, sorry no, all I can say is this programme adds a little extra bit of laughter to mine and Jack’s evenings and we just love it! My favourite episodes so far are season 2 – Mr Morris, and Season 3 – The Fox. Please go check it out if you want a dose of British humour and an easy going plot!

3. Incredibles 2 – 2018 – Cineworld
I went to the cinema with my family to watch this, because both my brother and I grew up watching Disney and Disney Pixar, so as 90’s babies, I believe it was a big part of our childhood (90’s babies, do we agree??). I feel I have an emotional connection to all the characters I watched growing up and almost feel like they are my friends (OMG I definitely need to go out more!!). Let’s be real though, who cried like a baby at Toy Story 3?! I REST MY CASE. So because of this deep set emotional footprint Disney has set into our hearts, when the sequels come rolling out, we must go, and we must go together!!
The Incredibles 2 was…well… incredible! I feel it really captured modern day life with Helen taking the reins to combat the baddies (GIRL POWER N ALL THAT), whilst Bob dealt with everyday life of teenagers and baby drama, well the baby drama was far from everyday life, BUT absolutely hilarious!! Baby Jack Jack was my ULTIMATE favourite character!! I want another film all about HIM! I felt I could also relate to baby Jack Jack, CUTE and SCARY ;). It was heart warming, action packed, and everything Disney should be! I utterly enjoyed it!! Plus, I believe animation has really developed into an amazing art form with the combination of outstanding visual effects supported by sound and music. What a time to be alive! My mum always says, my great gran would be utterly bowled over with the quality of films these days, and to be honest, I am myself and I have grown up alongside this development of film!

4. Paddington 2 – Amazon Prime
I watched this yesterday on a lazy Sunday afternoon, and was quite interested as to why it had such high ratings on IMDB. Well I now know why, as stated above in my last review, the visual effects of animation are INCREDIBLE RIGHT NOW! There is a scene where Paddington picks up an electric razor in a barber shop, which makes his fur shakes from his head to his toes, and the detail in his fur vibrating was captivating and so realistic (Well to be honest I actually haven’t seen a real brown bear vibrate before but I can imagine this is definitely what it would look like)! Obviously another reason why it probably got such high ratings is because the whole storyline, humour, characters, and of course the classic Paddington are nothing but completely, and quintessentially British! Paddington is a cute charmer and I love the little London bear to bits! I understand it is meant to be aimed at children, however I do believe any age could enjoy it, with the clever wit, outstanding charm, and action packed storyline (Me and my mum were both screaming at the TV at the end, in pure fright of Paddington being a squished bear!). However, after watching please be aware you may have a strange desire to eat marmalade; I know I did, and I am not overly keen on it but Paddington does sell it to me!

5. 3 Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri – Amazon Prime Rent or Buy, Any film shop I guess!
So this film was inspired by an actual true story of a family who lost a daughter and the case remains unsolved –here is the link to the details which is explained much better than I could even attempt: https://www.insideedition.com/real-story-behind-three-billboards-outside-ebbing-missouri-40961.
Anyway, I went to watch this in the cinema a few months ago, and I left feeling very moved and astounded. The film really impacted me to think deeply about revenge, justice, and anger. I am also a firm believer in karma, and believe this is also reflected in the film. The acting in the film was absolutely outstanding as well, which I believe helped tell the story to its full potential. This film is a dark comedy and I do quite enjoy the juxtaposition that this genre offers. This isn’t because I am some sort of psychopath, but because it allows us to think about something taboo or less desired in a different way, and that is ok, as this in turn can make it easier to express our feelings and emotions about a topic. I am probably rambling on and if any of you have a master’s degree in film production or Media, I am super sorry if i have not used the correct terms and stuff, ahaha! P.S. WATCH THIS FILM, ITS GENIUS AND THOUGHT PROVOKING!

Well thanks all again for getting this far into reading this post! I have bright ideas of fashion posts I want to put together, but feel I need to do a little bit more research on how to do it correctly and make sure I keep it interesting and unique! Enjoy your day!

Hello! My name is Abigail and I am a 22 year old Micro-influencer on Instagram. I grew up in Colchester Essex in a working class single parent mum household along with my brother. I have always loved being creative, eccentric, and stylish, and always dreamed about working within the creative media sector but struggled with confidence issues throughout my teenage years due to physical health and mental health. I began influencing in January 2018 after deciding my nursing career was not for me due to my mental health struggles. Although this was difficult for me to do due to a lack of confidence, I decided to take the courage that it was now or never that I began achieving my dreams.

My Instagram picked up a lot of interest rapidly and i now have over 6700 dedicated followers. I have created a brand which i like to call “a safe place on the internet” where I share aesthetic fashion, beauty and lifestyle content on my feed, whilst being more personal on my stories with sharing my personality, mental health journey, and my general day to day life. I believe that by being my whole self and presenting myself as a normal, relatable girl with struggles that not only women, but some men share can really help the internet to become a more safer place to share our true identities.

After struggling to find friends and family to take my photos due to their own work and life commitments I decided that i would take and edit all my own content. I went out and brought a £15.00 tripod last June and a Bluetooth shutter button remote. It took me a few goes to master the technique of self portraiture and photography, but i believe i am achieving my photography style now. I use my Hauwei P20 pro phone to capture my photos which works well. I would eventually like to move onto using a camera, however, I want to be as relatable as possible, in a way that girls can also obtain my achievements themselves using simple and easy equipment.

I am a huge fan of animals, wildlife and nature which i often share on my stories and sometimes on my feed. I have my own dog who is a Bichon Frise, and she is also a much loved companion on my page. I am hoping to get into video work in the near future with setting up a YouTube, however I am just needing that little bit more confidence to achieve this as of yet.

I have a portfolio available here: http://abigailjanine.com/portfolio.pdf

Thank you for taking your time to read this! I look forward to the rest of this journey!